Seeing Sideways.

I have an exam tomorrow at 8.45am, so far my preparation is pretty awesome, I've already done my revision two times over on chapter three about Analytic and Harmonic functions, so now I'm ready to see what chapters one, two and the little bit from chapters four to thirteen are about...
DON'T PANIC SAM...DON'T PANIC!!!AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!

Since I lost my conscience alongside my virginity a long long time ago, everything's easy, like I'm stressing out but not because there's a chance I might flunk or do badly but because of what I'm going to do in the ruddy examination hall for three hours, I mean come on, how many times can you take a bathroom break or for how long can you pretend you're thinking real hard. On reflection I feel I shouldn't have made fun of the kool asian dude during exams last semester when he showed up just to write his name carefully on each of the eight sheets and slept out the next couple of hours or so...

On the opposite hand, even when I've aced an exam, (I have this feeling after every exam till ofcourse the results come out, I wish these bloody examiners made less counting mistakes while adding up my marks), I see a couple of people taking sheet after extra sheet after extra sheet and I just keep wondering like what the f**k are they writing, I mean I just did great and I finished in the normal sheets and these guys are like what a.)writing a story b.)writing everything twice just incase the first one gets magically erased c.)against mother earth or d.)trying to freak everyone out? This one time I did take a couple of extra sheets as well, only to use them to cheat in the next exam, bombed the damn exam cause nothing on my cheat sheet actually came, so much for cheating and passing.

Anyhow I went a couple of days ago to watch this new Indian comedy movie, Garam Masala, which everyone was raving about and how funny it is with one foreign critic even describing it as "I've never had so many laughs in an Indian movie", I went with my cousin and my freaky younger uncle and in the whole movie we were like "huh"..then.."huh"..and.."huh"...for the whole three hours we bloody didn't laugh once but did feel like crying a few times, SERIOUSLY YOU F*****G BLIND RETARDED CRITIC, UP YOUR PAID DUMB ASS! Despite being a slut, I never felt so screwed before...

Love in times past....and now.

I sometimes think about the emotion love, the way it is now and the way it's portrayed to us, I wonder if our perception and feeling of love has changed over all these years, when I say us, I mean humanity in general. Was the feeling of love we feel now different from the feeling people felt say in the 1800's or maybe as recently as life in the sixties or seventies?

Is our feeling of love now pure in any sense? Love has become more of a physical feeling than a emotion. Our society has become quite modern, which is understandable as we keep evolving all the time but should our feelings evolve as well? What I really wonder is has sex become more important than love? What was sex before? Is it just the gratification of a human need or does it serve a higher purpose in life? From what I see, everyone has different answers to these questions, I guess it depends on our mentality and character and where we come from in life.

I think the term love< meant a lot more in life before than it does now, people use love for their convinience or to suit their purpose. Before when you said you love a person, it meant something, maybe choosing that person for your journey through life but now forever is a taboo word, forever doesn't exist anymore, I say why not? Is it all about meeting the right person? Who is this right person anyway whose going to come and rescue us? How do you actually judge who's the right person, our society is shallow, looks count. Everything starts with physical appearence but there should be more to it, you cannot know he/she is the right one till you spend a lot of time with that person. The hopeful say I will meet him/her someday, but don't we all think we are the right person for someone? Everlasting love always starts with friendship...

I know this is a very complicated issue with lots of variations depending on the person, I know both sides of the story, I knew when it was about physicality and when not. I'm not hypocritical, I've been there and done that but people change...

One of my friends honestly beleives "you should marry someone who loves you", she says "it doesn't matter what you feel because in the end no one can make you as happy as that person, looks are transitory, people who like a person just for the way they look are in for lust, they care more about their gratification than the other person's emotions". Does that sound right? Someone who loves you...how can anything sound more right?