The Importance of why.

Why is it why that always make us ponder.
Shouldn't how, when and what too make us wonder.

Why is it why that answers all our questions.
It's not like how, when and what are lacking in suggestions.

Why is it why that is always so reliable.
It makes how, when and what look ever so liable.

Why is it why that we can't live without.
Couldn't how, when and what possibly offer some doubt.

Why is it why that it's all about why.
I can exert and strive without any proper reply.

Chasing Love.

So what is it that makes the world chase after love. Love of another person I mean. The "I'm in love with you" and not the "I love you" kind of love. Personally I don't see what the fuss is all about. Yes, I've been in love. Yes, I'm sure it was love. Yes, I got heartbroken. No, that's not why I'm writing this. Anyway it was a long time ago. But I have to be honest and admit that I remember what it was like being in love. The only time. I'm not modest, people say I love you more often than not. But people, they're fickle. So is their love. They love you today. They might not love you tomorrow. That's alright though, it's hard to blame them, they have six billion choices.

I somewhat went off tangent, my bad, I love reflecting, anyway getting back to what I was saying. So why do they chase after love. I don't include myself in this pack or horde or crowd or group or mob or troop or herd or band or flock of love chasing desperado's. Why should I. Somehow people have this misconception that once they fall in love, that's it, that's the end all and be all, everything's great, the whole kit and caboodle, the whole shebang, we're done. But someone who's actually fallen in love knows better.

It's impossible to love one person. Or two. Or three. I mean I'm talking about time here, not quantity. It's impossible to love the same person for a long stretch of time. Sure people stay together. But who says it's out of love? Me on the other hand says it's not. I'll give you the reasons why people stay together, for a longish period of time, never a long time. The results are from a very secret study conducted in my head so they need to be kept hidden. People stay together for the lack of a better option, for the fear of the future, for the fear of being alone, for the convenience of having someone around, for the company, for the moneeeeeyyyyy, for the status, for the conversation and last but not least, for the sex. I think I forgot to mention love. NOT.

Seriously I'm not doing this out of a personal affront, injury or insult. I don't know why whenever I write anything it's assumed it must have happened to me. If I write a sad poem it's because someone left me. It could be that I'm only good at writing sad whatever's you know. There's a thought. The sole reason why I'm doing this is that everyone needs to know the truth about love. It's not what you listen in the songs and see in the movies. This is what it is. If it happens enjoy it, fickle people.

You and I.

Someone similar, you and I are,
The easiest to love, the easiest by far.

I do have to dream, at times even pretend,
Tell myself tales but here they must end.

I miss those days when my life was at shore,
Struggling without you, nothing’s the same anymore.

Now you don't ask nor do you come,
What was my life, what has it become.

Neither my want nor wish can help my cause,
It’ll take more than them all to even glimpse at what was.

For the love I hide and the feelings I mask,
Be it for their sake, heed what I must ask.

Love me less, but love me a long time.

Love.

"If the stars were to shine for us, the sky would be too bright.
If the dark were to stay for us, it would be eternal night.

If the forests were to burn for us, man would not know trees.
If the world would just accept us, we could do as we please.

If the earth were to turn for us, our days would end in minutes.
If fertility were to learn from us, the world would be of triplets.

If hearts were to break for us, love would only ever increase.
If mountains were to rise for us, man would be at peace.

If birds were to be like us, there would never have been a cage.
If only time would stop for us, so we could never age.

If rain were to fall for us, the skies would still be blue.
If ever we do fall in love, this would all be true."

Out of my mind.

I have been reading a lot these days. The times I'm not in class I'm reading. Sometimes in class I'm reading. At other times I'm writing. It seems to be getting a bit out of hand and I seem to be getting a bit out of my mind. I do mean that literally. It does scare me sometimes when I think about how anti-social I seem to have become. Is it the arrogance of youth or is it a more stranger malaise. I wish I had the answer for that as it would go a long way in explaining this strange play. The first act included a lot of characters. The second one, just me.

I don't think I can blame the people for my behaviour. Yes, I guess I'm arrogant but not that much. So I will just blame myself. For this ever increasing disconnection from the real world. But I'm not sorry. There, I'm being arrogant again. I should probably take that back. But I won't. Sometimes even I can tell the truth.

So where will I end up if I continue like this. Probably all alone sometime pretty soon. When my youth is no more. For the simple reason that youth seeks youth. Or maybe I will end up with a wife and three kids. Or maybe with a cat and three dogs. Or maybe with just my books and writing. Seems like I'm already there...

A wait of a lifetime.

I saw her sitting on the couch next to mine in the student lounge. It was about five in the evening and I had finished a class. It was a strange moment. I felt like I wanted to know her, to talk to her, ask her story. She looked like she had a lot on her mind and despite that she glanced at me three times. Yes I was counting. I wonder what she was thinking when she looked at me. Was she thinking what I was. She must have. Maybe that’s why I felt this compulsion to keep looking.

I have since kept wondering if I will ever see her again. It’s been impossible to stop thinking about her. My senses are on full alert and I keep looking. For her. On the bus, on the train, on the streets. I spend most of my time in the lounge waiting. For her. I don’t fully understand or appreciate why. I am sure there is a justifiable reason for this psychotic behaviour. Maybe I am going mad. But that, probably, is not true because I heard crazy people don’t think they’re crazy.

I think its the look she gave me. Three times. Yes, that must be it. I’m not looking for her because she was really beautiful or because I want to sleep with her. Yes, I’m positive about that. But I really want to find her. I am not sure about what I will tell her when I do. How does one tell someone they don’t know that they’ve been looking for them. But I will cross that bridge once I get to it. I am desperate to find a way to that bridge.

Surely this must have all happened in my head. Surely there was no such moment. But that won’t stop me from looking. For you. There are many things I need to ask you. You know where I wait. Please do come.

One more affair.

I feel you walking away from me, but,
Why don’t you feel my despair.

I have visited all those places again,
To just stand heavy hearted and stare.

I have seen the world change, but,
The one in you was the hardest to bear.

I can say this was a dream, but,
It was reality which caught me unaware.

I might not say where I am, but,
All who suffer among us have been there.

I know I shouldn’t feel wistful, but,
This was not just another affair.

Be with me.

Every single ounce of pain, all the heartache in the world, each and every kind of sadness, I would bear it all, if you would just be with me.

There are some people, who are just that, people, but there are some people who can make such a difference within you, they make you think, they make you love. Just be with me, I wouldn’t care about my life, only yours, I wouldn’t care about my days, only yours. I wouldn’t care about anything in this world, except you. You make me want to continue living.

Just look at me once, tell me you can’t feel my love? I know you do, I can see you know. Just give me one chance because a life without you is no life at all. I would bear it all, if you would just be with me.

First ( and probably last) Video.

This is just an experiment but it does go on here and yes I'm prepared to be made fun of!! :D

Ek Fariyaad.

Zindagi se ek fariyaad thi, ki aap mil jaaye, lekin,
Aapko hamare phoolon mein bhi kaatein nazar aaye.

Umr kat gayi, par na samajh paaye,
Ki aap ke bina, jaaye to kahan jaaye.

Ek din hamari wafa ko yaad kar,
Agar aap chahen rona, to na ro paaye.

Dil jab dookha, to aap yaad aaye,
Is gham ko lekar, na jee na mar paaye.