Why don't you have a place for me in your heart.

Why don’t you have a place for me in your heart?
Is it like this now or it’s been so from the start?

I wish you could see, see what I see.
This place I have in which no other can be.

There are no wishes left to make, no places to see.
If only one didn’t suffer or merely to a tolerable degree.

My heart is very secluded, as there’s no one but me.
A sojourn is treasured, both, my heart and I, agree.

A visitor as such I wasn’t but was mistaken into being.
Hopes for an eternal stay, in any event, seemed fleeting.

Your visit will last forever, come here with me and sit.
After all, what is a heart without a place for you in it?


For my solitary reader.

I've loved you for so long.

Yes, It’s almost been an age.
Yes, It’s been so hard to face.

Yes, I’ve almost let them flow.
Yes, I kept inside what I couldn’t show.

Yes, I know you were never mine.
Yes, I did, to this fact, resign.

Yes, I knew I was barely alive.
Yes, I knew I wouldn’t survive.

Yes, I knew you weren’t in from the start.
Yes, I knew I never had your heart.

Yes, I’ve known this all along.
Yes, I’ve loved you for so long.

My Yesterday.

Paragraph 1

It is just so hard to see,
You walking away from me.
How did I let you slip away,
Left with no more words to say.

All I tried was to love you so,
All you did was let me go.
Now there’s not much left to do,
Remember when you loved me too.

Chorus x 1

Yesterday,
I was a fool and I played the game,
Lost you and even took the blame,
Even if I never see you again,
My love will always be the same.

Paragraph 2

The memories always stay with me,
Hurt me, haunt me, won’t let me be.
Still there’s something good in pain,
It makes me remember you again.

On and on it goes some more,
Like a never ending fall.
One day I’ll have to land,
Take my head out of the sand.

Chorus x 1

Interlude

I always knew we were meant to be, despite the obvious frailties.
I might learn better someday,
Till then I just have to say.

Chorus x 2

Walking away.

I can't remember when I stopped writing. If someone asks me what I want to do with my life, I tell them, I want to retire at 30 and become a writer. What about my book? Yes, I stopped writing. My characters. I can see what they see, feel what they feel, listen to every word they say but I can't write. I can't write about them. I can't write about you. I can't even write about me. I always said that only a poor writer needs to use what's happening in their life for inspiration. What about the writers who can't even do that? How could I stop...

What does one do when they run of inspiration? When they can't tell stories anymore? When they fail to create something out of nothing? I thought about giving up, it was tempting. A book once told me the world is full of written garbage, to not add to it. I'm doing it right now in the hope that somewhere I will see why once I thought I could write. If truth be told, I actually thought I was a good writer. I was stupid. Producing a few poems or some stories does not make one a good writer. Either you're born to write or you're not. Same with how one is born to act. Sure many people learn how to but they can never be as good at acting or half as good at writing.

As far as writing is concerned, I feel I have reached a dead end. It's a pity I cannot finish what I started. It was a good story and the fact that it really happened made it better. I've tried adding words. I cannot do it justice. I'll walk away now in the hope I might finish it one day when I'm feeling a less content person and a better writer. The irony is devastating.

Angular momentum.

The city of angels.

Los Angeles. I know that I will invariably reminisce about these last few days like I have about the preceding days here. They have literally felt like being in another world and living someone else’s life. From the start to the finish it was too good to be true. Yet it was true. All of it. A chance meeting after three long years will probably have some unexpected consequences. Whether they are good or bad, only time will tell. Unexpected consequences from unexpected meetings. Makes complete sense. I remember the first meeting as if it just happened. Perhaps this was the last one, perhaps not. In truth it doesn’t matter. The story will always be there to be told. A story of impossible loves and immature passions. Despite it all , I promised myself to not come back here because it could never be so much fun again.

The Importance of why.

Why is it why that always make us ponder.
Shouldn't how, when and what too make us wonder.

Why is it why that answers all our questions.
It's not like how, when and what are lacking in suggestions.

Why is it why that is always so reliable.
It makes how, when and what look ever so liable.

Why is it why that we can't live without.
Couldn't how, when and what possibly offer some doubt.

Why is it why that it's all about why.
I can exert and strive without any proper reply.

Chasing Love.

So what is it that makes the world chase after love. Love of another person I mean. The "I'm in love with you" and not the "I love you" kind of love. Personally I don't see what the fuss is all about. Yes, I've been in love. Yes, I'm sure it was love. Yes, I got heartbroken. No, that's not why I'm writing this. Anyway it was a long time ago. But I have to be honest and admit that I remember what it was like being in love. The only time. I'm not modest, people say I love you more often than not. But people, they're fickle. So is their love. They love you today. They might not love you tomorrow. That's alright though, it's hard to blame them, they have six billion choices.

I somewhat went off tangent, my bad, I love reflecting, anyway getting back to what I was saying. So why do they chase after love. I don't include myself in this pack or horde or crowd or group or mob or troop or herd or band or flock of love chasing desperado's. Why should I. Somehow people have this misconception that once they fall in love, that's it, that's the end all and be all, everything's great, the whole kit and caboodle, the whole shebang, we're done. But someone who's actually fallen in love knows better.

It's impossible to love one person. Or two. Or three. I mean I'm talking about time here, not quantity. It's impossible to love the same person for a long stretch of time. Sure people stay together. But who says it's out of love? Me on the other hand says it's not. I'll give you the reasons why people stay together, for a longish period of time, never a long time. The results are from a very secret study conducted in my head so they need to be kept hidden. People stay together for the lack of a better option, for the fear of the future, for the fear of being alone, for the convenience of having someone around, for the company, for the moneeeeeyyyyy, for the status, for the conversation and last but not least, for the sex. I think I forgot to mention love. NOT.

Seriously I'm not doing this out of a personal affront, injury or insult. I don't know why whenever I write anything it's assumed it must have happened to me. If I write a sad poem it's because someone left me. It could be that I'm only good at writing sad whatever's you know. There's a thought. The sole reason why I'm doing this is that everyone needs to know the truth about love. It's not what you listen in the songs and see in the movies. This is what it is. If it happens enjoy it, fickle people.

You and I.

Someone similar, you and I are,
The easiest to love, the easiest by far.

I do have to dream, at times even pretend,
Tell myself tales but here they must end.

I miss those days when my life was at shore,
Struggling without you, nothing’s the same anymore.

Now you don't ask nor do you come,
What was my life, what has it become.

Neither my want nor wish can help my cause,
It’ll take more than them all to even glimpse at what was.

For the love I hide and the feelings I mask,
Be it for their sake, heed what I must ask.

Love me less, but love me a long time.

Love.

"If the stars were to shine for us, the sky would be too bright.
If the dark were to stay for us, it would be eternal night.

If the forests were to burn for us, man would not know trees.
If the world would just accept us, we could do as we please.

If the earth were to turn for us, our days would end in minutes.
If fertility were to learn from us, the world would be of triplets.

If hearts were to break for us, love would only ever increase.
If mountains were to rise for us, man would be at peace.

If birds were to be like us, there would never have been a cage.
If only time would stop for us, so we could never age.

If rain were to fall for us, the skies would still be blue.
If ever we do fall in love, this would all be true."